The Matrix

I thought that I would faithfully write about the journey in raising my son. The more I wrote, the more solid I became in my convictions to organize this brain that wasn't mine, to train into it some alien pliable form that was not going to stay on track anyway, and otherwise teach what seemed unteachable. Daily writing brought too much verbal thinking into my own visually-oriented mind to allow me to grasp the world in which my son immersed himself. And so...I embraced my own scattered nature, my own visual and spatial world, and became a part of his world. We were much happier -not that the road was smooth- when I invited my son into our world, slowly enticing him into space, a tentative shared space, between his universe and ours. I hope to share insights from the past, present, and future as I continue to ease the transition of this young man into an adult world. The only proven method I use is ages old -- I honor who he is and help him find people and places who do the same... square pegs fit nicely into soft putty that molds around them...and the push into plasticity is gentle.

Monday, March 19, 2012

What's the Buzz?

In one of my favorite candy commercials Bunny wanders about and lays chocolate, cream-filled eggs. During the laying musements, Bunny makes rather hennish clucking, cooing sounds. My personal amusement lies in asking other viewers if they've noticed what's not quite right. Most have not noticed that the Bunny is a Chick...or, rather, that he or she sounds like one. Of course, this doesn't mean that I won't follow a chocolate-egg-laying bunny (clucking or not) to the ends of the a lemming I will, I will.

Contrary to popular belief, though bunnies do not have voice boxes, they do, indeedy, express themselves with a variety of sounds. Each of those sounds has discernbable meaning, and even humans can respond to their buzzes and growls if they don't mind the quizzical bunny look, or what passes for bunny laughter, in response. Bunny whines, coos, and symphonies akin to Inuit throat singing are not difficult to parse, even for mere humans. It doesn't take long to catch on to their specific warren languages, either.

One of the few noticeable behaviors in my son's spectrum life is perseverant vocalizations. Boy noises are boy noises, but the repetition, especially anxiety-driven multi-sylllable words and phrases, just drives me nutz...and after years of this...I'm more than nutz, but it is getting better because....

Enter the Bunny.

The Joy of Bunny.

The Sound of Bunny.

One of the adorable and endearing Sounds of Bunny is a LuvBuzz. Bzzzzzzzzzzzz. Bzzzzz. It's not really a purr of self-contentment, but usually directed at a person..or another bunny. And the persistent Buzzz, the perseverant BZZZZZZZZZ, reminds me of those cute, fuzzball Star Trek Tribbles...and I smile.

And he smiled. My kid, not Bunny. Do bunnies smile? Whatever. And he noticed that someone in his life, important to his life, smiled at every buzz from Bunny. And suddenly, overnight...


became a soft bzzzzzzzzzbzzzzzzzzzzzz....

and urgently spoken

let's get outtahere
let's get outtahere
let's get outtahere

calmed to bzzzzzzzzzzzbzzzzzzzzbzzzzzzz


and I can listen to bzzzzzzzzzbzzzzzzz for a very long time, and other people think he's humming along with whatevertheheck whatevertheheck whatevertheheck his IPod is delivering...bzzzzzzzzzzzz.

My Year of the Bunny.

Now I'm hunting for those eggzzzzzzz...

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